Family Mediation
Mediating Separation and Divorce
Separation and divorce can be a very stressful process for all those involved including any children of the relationship and extended family members. A family mediator can be really helpful at this time to enable the parties to communicate with each other and find the solutions which are right for them. Mediation can reduce tension, anger and misunderstanding, which is particularly important if there are children who need their parents to co-operate over their future care and upbringing.
The issues brought to mediation by the parties may relate to the needs and welfare of the children, for example, residency and contact arrangements, financial support and choice of school. Closely related to the above are decisions about the family home, assets and debts and income and pension needs of the parties. There may also be parent and child disputes to be discussed and resolved.
It is possible, with the consent of both parents for the family mediator to see the children (over a certain age) in a separate session. The objective of the session is to enable the children to express frankly and with confidence their wishes and feeling for the future. Often children do not want to take sides in their parents’ disputes and try to please both of them which can be stressful. Speaking to a family mediator qualified to speak with them and with CRB clearance can be a helpful option for some children. Direct Consultation with Children.
The key point about mediation is that the parties stay in control of the process. The mediator never takes sides. The mediator’s role is to help you discuss the problems and challenges you face and support you as you work towards agreements in a fair and open way.
Family Mediation gives the parties the opportunity to look beyond strictly legal issues and to explore all the issues that concern them. It is also the only opportunity to consider arrangements for the children and financial issues together. Courts deal with these issues separately.
It is recommended that individuals seek advice for legal aspects of their divorce from a solicitor who can, help between mediation sessions and when agreement has been reached in the mediation process.
Family mediation is not an easy option but it is empowering because the two parties are able, with willingness to compromise and see the other individual’s point of view, to make their own decisions regarding the practicalities of their separation or divorce.
At the conclusion of the mediation the Mediator will produce the following documents for the parties:
- The first document is called “The Open Summary”* and it contains all the factual information about financial aspects whether held in joint or individual names. For example, property owned, bank accounts, shares, debts. A full list of the documents required can be supplied by a family mediator or downloaded from Her Majesty’s Courts Services website http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk.
- The second document is called “The Memorandum of Understanding”. It is a legally privileged document which contains all the information about the agreements the parties have reached regarding the division of their assets, apportioning of any debt and the future care, welfare and contact arrangements for any children of the relationship.
*Please note in some cases the parties only bring issues related to any children of the relationship to mediation and opt to settle the financial aspects of their separation or divorce separately; or they may require mediation only for the financial aspects of their divorce.
Each party can ask their solicitor to take them through what has been agreed in mediation to make sure the person fully understands how it will affect them. A solicitor is also needed if the parties wish to go for a legally binding agreement (consent order).
