Family Mediation
Disagreement over care for an elderly or chronically ill relative
Planning for care of an elderly or chronically sick can present their relatives with a stressful challenge. It is very likely that there will be several different views about the way forward and of course, where possible, there are the hopes and wishes of the individual to be honoured.
Case study 1
A terminally man wanted to die at home with his family around him. The difficulty for his children and other extended family members was that the man’s second wife became the “gatekeeper” and would refuse access to her husband; it seems without any reference to his wishes. This caused a great deal of distress and created a feeling of suspicion in family members. There seemed to be no way of establishing satisfactory communications between the wife and the extended family. Even at such a stressful time it is possible for mediation to enable each to hear and understand the other person’s point of view and hopefully formulate a plan which will enable all those close to the man to be with him and involved in his care during his final weeks of life.
Case study 2
The health of an elderly parent deteriorated to the point where a move to a residential or nursing home was being suggested by the person’s GP. However, the children were in disagreement as to whether their mother could be nursed at home or be moved to a home. Emotions were high with accusations from some that all the other’s wanted to do was save money! The discussions reached a stalemate and the needs of their mother became more urgent. Agreement to talk about the issues with a mediator enabled the family to formulate a plan which took into account the wishes of their mother as well as the practicalities of the finances.
